[The top of the page has been decorated with tiny drawings of Il-Tira, Morothi, Dharasi, Velyra, and Silvanus. They are intentionally simplified, and rather cartoonish with exaggerated features.]

I don't think the bouts of aches are going to be going away, so I suppose I'll have to learn to manage them. I've been advised to stock up on potions, and will need to plan out my mining trips a bit more cautiously. No more spontaneous rock gathering trips, I suppose. At least Spine is close to the guild.

My chest pain's been flaring up ever since that broken rib, too. It's tolerable but I just know if it acts up when I'm mining, I'll end up stuck out there. Best to keep my blanket on me at all times...

On a side note, I think I'd like to place some candles for Dharasi and Elyenne in the guild. Perhaps Jyra-Tul, too.

[This page appears to have very little text at all, and is primarily composed of drawings. Unlike the previous drawings, however, these are shaky and haphazard. Their roughness does not appear to be the result of intentional practice, rather an unsteady hand drawing them.

On the upper half of the page, there's blurred and frantic drawings of fangs and open maws, warped and shifting together. It gives the vague illusion of both motion, and a horrid singular beast composed of multiple disfigured jaws. Teeth unnaturally form in clusters around the many mouths, as though viewed through blurred, cross-eyed vision.

In the middle, separating the page, there are weapons. Swords, daggers, spears, all in motion, drenched in blood as if actively rending through skin and flesh. The blood is detailed with shaky yet intentional care, down to the very individual droplets and splatters creating a visceral image on the page.

At the bottom of the page, there is a figure; Feline in nature, wearing a thick cloak. They are sitting on a bridge next to the water in the rain, their head turned towards the viewer with a smile. While it seems calm compared to the rest of the page, the closer one looks, the more details come to light. The figure's cloak is smeared with blood, and despite their pleasant smile, their eyes have no shine. Their pupils are empty; not quite in the direction of the viewer as if looking through them rather than at them. Their reflection in the water is scrawled out in a harsh scribbling pattern.

The only text written is at the very bottom of the page. 

"Something is wrong."]

[The top of the page is decorated with various gemstones of differing smoothness and shininess. In Sciurric, they are labeled topaz, obsidian, moonstone, tiger's eye, quartz, bloodstone, and amethyst. Below that, there is a well-drawn diagram of the proper cutting technique for quartz. There is not much space left on the page to spare for text, but a few paragraphs are squeezed in at the bottom.]

I'm still not eating or sleeping well, but at least the anger's gone away. Mostly. I don't feel quite as prone to those outbursts, it's mostly just irritability at this point. And paranoia, still. Hiding in my room, though I'm trying my best not to. It feels weird having to actually work up courage to step out the door each day. I'm improving on my swordsmanship, though, and held my ground decently in a proper duel. I'd likely be no match for a hardened fighter, but learning to dodge was worth it; Uso could barely get a hit on me, and he's near mastery with his blade.

Can't give up.

(Continued spoilers for ongoing plot as of 4/15/25.)

[As you flip to this page, a few additional pieces of paper slip from the journal, folded neatly.

On one paper, there's a vague map of what seems to be the forested areas past Scholar's Bridge, with several different sets of arrows pointing towards or away from spots marked with X's. Without knowing what these could mean, it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Another paper has a list of critters' names, some with a check-mark next to them, some with a question mark, and a few without any marks. On the other half of this page seems to be some sort of checklist... But it's not written in any language you recognize; rather, it almost seems to be Common but written in an odd, encrypted way.]

As it turns out, making plans is very difficult when critters throw themselves into danger at every given opportunity. I wish I could actually talk about my plans, but the nine gods know that half of Kalris would somehow hear the plan by the next day, and I can't risk that. I can't risk him finding out. And as much as I wish I could talk to Quarrel... They've told me their orders.

I'm making decent progress, though. But Fennai has gone on a pilgrimage, so getting supplies may be more difficult unless I can pay Bear's prices. Maybe Dart and Thorn...? They're still learning, but they might be willing to make weapons and armor for a discount as long as I supply them the metals and molds. I don't want this to be another "mob" situation, though, so I can't just hand out things to whoever can lift a weapon. I'll have to pick carefully.

The most difficult part of all this, though, is knowing that winning in a battle isn't going to mean "winning." We might be able to prove we can beat him, but what will that do if he just comes back again and again and again? A critter as old as him surely isn't going to be without patience... I need more information before I can commit to acting, but this just circles back to the difficulty of making plans while chaos continues to happen around me.

I don't want to kill him. No matter how much anger I held towards him, no matter how visceral the images in my head still are. There has to be some other way.

I need to gather more information.

[There are several pages where there have clearly been attempts to write something, but most of the words start and stop abruptly. There are a few legible spots where a sentence will start, but the writings trail off as though the writer can't find the words to communicate what they want to say.

These pages have, instead, been filled with loose and sketchy scribbles over the incomplete writings. One page depicts a mountain with a dragon - presumably a simplified Silvanus - climbing its rocky cliffs. Another drawing shows a lit forge and anvil with an unfamiliar critter holding a hammer, poised to strike hot metal. One page seems to be composed entirely of little doodles of dragons, who seem to be wreaking havoc across the unfinished sentences. One of them is biting a gemstone. It looks particularly pleased.

Finally, one page finally seems to have a complete entry.]

I've been trying to get my thoughts across for awhile now, but it's felt like trying to write has locked up my head. Like the words refused to be written. Or maybe some part of me didn't want them to be written.

The vampire is gone, but not without leaving a nasty reminder to remember him by among the critters. He attacked one night, enthralling anyone he could find... And then he simply left. I can't begin to understand his reasons, but at this point, I won't complain about him being gone. All critters enthralled that night - myself included - were afflicted by a horrible curse.

By the mercy of the gods, Elyenne in particular, my curse was lifted. I chose to take her as my patron, not that Dharasi hasn't blessed me and watched over me, but the choice felt right. My guild is a guild of commerce, which is within her domain, and I've reached out to her many times before. I feel like, while Dharasi blesses me with gems and stones, Elyenne has been watching me more closely.

However, many if not most of the others are still cursed. It's been months now. I could hardly tolerate the weeks I was afflicted, I can't imagine the suffering they're experiencing. I pray they seek the gods as I did, that they find the same healing as I. 

Quarrel left for several months to learn from the vampire. The ancient language. They've already returned by now, safe and seemingly in good health, but I do pity them for the absolute chaos they've returned to. Ginevra was exiled for assisting the vampire, and Eyes exiled himself with her. Kerowyn is also in exile, though I'm unsure if it was also because of Ginevra or for her own reasons.

I just struggle to understand it. The nights we spoke together, talking of freeing the enthralled... The sleepover we held, all the time spent in each other's company, laughing and enjoying each others' presences, comforting eachother... It wasn't all just a lie, was it? She wouldn't have done all that just to hide the fact that she wanted to learn from the vampire, would she? Ginevra seemed apologetic, even before the trial, and I haven't been sure how to feel about it all.

Some part of me wants to give her a second chance, allow her to maybe explain herself, but some part of me is... Afraid that it'll all just be another lie. I want her to be forgiven, to be able to speak with her and know exactly what she was thinking, why she did what she did, but that worry has bled into so many of my actions lately. Even involving critters other than her. While I'm not necessarily pleased it had to come to exile, I just hope that maybe this will give her the chance to learn, to seek the gods, and to think about how her actions affected others. I... I pray she doesn't return angered and vengeful. I want this to bring good, as sour as it seems right now.

I worry for Eyes, going with her. Multiple critters said he was doing poorly after being freed, Ginevra said he wasn't doing well, and Lowe even said that he looked feral at one point... He seems young, I'm afraid that his actions are going to harm him more than he thinks. That he'll drift from the Pantheon. According to Quarrel, he'd left a letter with an interest in the gods and apprenticing, but... That was before news of the trial, it seemed. Some part of me feels like it'd be better - safer - if he was removed from exile and... I don't know. Put somewhere safe, where he won't stray further. I think after all he went through, he's acting out in desperation than in his right mind. Unlike the others, he has no real reason to be out there.

Kerowyn is... I don't know, honestly. I'd imagine she chose to exile for many reasons. For trying to feed Arsene to the vampire, or some sort of self-punishment for failing to find a solution... She was honestly extremely hard on herself, and though I'm still incredibly upset at her for thinking it was okay to do what she did, I still can't help but feel a deep sense of pity. She spoke multiple times about how she felt useless and couldn't get critters to work together. I think I pity her because I felt similarly. I did come up with plans of my own; some to raid the vampire's burrow, some to test the effectiveness of various magics against him, and far too many ways to free the enthralled that ideally didn't involve a trade for another critter. 

None of those came to fruition because of similar reasons. I hesitated to talk of my ideas because critters didn't seem to want to work together, which made me part of the critters who didn't want to work together. I felt useless. I can sympathize. But like Ginevra, I hope this allows her time to think about it and seek the gods.

There's so much more I could write about. Lowe, Soma, the aftermath of everything, the summer festival I've still got to work on, the guild's rules that still need finishing... But I've already struggled to get these thoughts on paper, so those will have to wait a bit longer. I think I see the sun coming up. I should rest.

[The bottom of the page is signed in cursive with Sebastian's name.]