Stolen Moments

Quarrel

I am working through my exhaustion to write more. As therapeutic as that conversation with Molly was - and as much as I know she's right, again - I really just want a shoulder to cry on. I believe I have handled it as best as I can. Their approval of my actions in regards to it has been clear. It is how I can keep going, despite everything. Nor do I fear her. Even when she tried to attack me recently because I wouldn't affirm her twisted fantasies.

Critters keep pushing for me to rest, but I wouldn't have caught her that quickly if it was not for the omens I recieved. Althas sending rain to push me from the trees Cerridwen provided as cover, Morothi cloaking me as usual while Elyenne guided me across her path, Velyra revealing the trails and intent, Silvanus granting me the endurance to be prepared for a fight despite my exhaustion. Dharasi granting me the strength to strike through her armor, Il-Tira the wisdom to understand, and Jyra-Tul the justice dealt. If I had merely waved off the rain and decided to rest, I would have entirely missed it. Perhaps even missed the trail on my return, as the rain only let up when she was confronted. How can I possibly be expected to take a break?

Some are still defending her, which wasn't unexpected. ~~I find it horribly ironic, though, that they'll defend her for the same crime they insist upon me.~~ Regardless...

I am increasingly frustrated with Ginevra and Kerowyn, even moreso than I believed possible. Molly put that rather well too.

I don't know. Maybe between my coin project and everything else I'll work on another picnic, just in a more quiet location. Fireflies are still out. I have to try.

Quarrel

(TW self loathing)

Pathetic.

Mourning things that were never mine to have, like a kit crying when they realize picking a flower to share it damns it to rot. I think they're just stacking on top of each other. I know there's better ways to handle it, but I can't afford to. I can't allow myself to lapse, or for my judgement to dull. I am not permitted to make mistakes. They still happen. But that makes it worse.

It's not even about the vial. I know Morothi helped that critter, and really stealing isn't against anything. I mean, it wasn't even a rule since Sebastian forgot to mention it. It's the fact that I immediately snapped back to accusing a critter again. _{Just like they did.} I still don't like Miracle but she is useful, and I told Molly I'd try. Just another way I failed her.

The festival seemed to be a success otherwise. He seemed tired but happy. All of the vendors made some coin. Critters were off playing games. Though, there was that thunderstorm... granted the sea pudding seemed to work, but I'm convinced it was Faeyl's fault. Althas knows, it lessened when I got the sacrifice, so maybe he had something to be angry at me for.

I tried to not patrol, but when the fog rolled in I felt that I had to. It was uneventful, but [the rest of the writing has been scratched out]

Velyra help me, I'm halfway to just setting up a camp and staying in Cerridwen's forest. Maybe I'd do less harm there, in Morothi's solitude. I'd probably feel better.