TW: Not extreme prior abuse and trauma/PTSD/trauma reaction, specific posts will have additional warnings. Will be kept minimal! Read at your own risk and stay safe!

Rain water soaked through xeir clothes, through xeir thick fur, and down to what felt like xeir very marrow. It seeped in remorselessly. The chill in xeir bones was not from the cold storm, however. 

Arachnis knew xey were a mess. The vicious thunderstorm above rivalled the one within xem. 

Stepping into the temple xey called home was a blissful respite from the water beating down. A deep sigh escaped xem as xey fought the urge to shake out xeir fur. Exhaustion dragged, but out of the rain, blood was visible once again on xeir paws. Shards of shining white quartz were dulled with the diluted scarlet within xeir pads. Rest would have to wait - xey needed to tend this, and xey were far too exhausted to cast once again.

That, and xeir confidence in xeir white magic had bottomed out. How useless xey'd been tonight... Arachnis sighed softer now. Useless after Quarrel had come all that way through the thunder and lightening to fetch xeir help. Bitterness welled up akin to the blood on xeir paws.

No time for more of those thoughts. The last thing xey wanted was to drip blood on the floors. Water was one thing  - blood another. With any luck no one would notice. Quarrel was certainly still with the rabbit after all - their paws were likely full. Sneaking to xeir room should be easy enough...

Yet it was too late. The feline slipped into view from the shadows.

Arachnis jumped. Xey hated how good xeir sibling was at that! Xeir paws went behind xeir back and xey winced as a shard caught the new clothes Lady Vitta had gifted xem.

"Q-Quarrel... Is the rabbit alright...?"

The roll of eyes in the dim lighting was caught only just. Xeir own blue gaze slid away, rain-slicked fur on xeir neck raising. It wasn't like xey had been loud... Quarrel was likely fed up with xem. For xeir abject failure, for xeir abhorrent uselessness - the thoughts spiraled in a tidal wave of anxiety. Arachnis's ears lowered as xeir watery eyes cast downward.

 And worse was remembering xeir own first night in the temple. No comfort there, just the brisk cat leaving xem to xeir own devices. Guilt pooled in xeir belly at the comparing thought.

Then, Quarrel was snarling.

Arachnis shrank back with wide eyes and damp fur bristled up like spikes. "N-no one...!" Xey fought to keep xeir volume down as panic struck. The lack of helm made the interaction far more intimidating - and xey were afraid. Fear fluffed them faster than lightning as xeir ears went flat. The half-marten looked far more cattish now. Xeir paws had instinctively come up to a placating position as xey forgot the cuts and splinters of quartz in xeir pads.

"It was- it was from the, um, the quartz -" Xey stumbled over xeir words, fighting panic that told xem to flee from Quarrel. "Wh-when it broke... I'm sorry, I know, I..."

I was worse than useless.

Tears welled in xeir eyes but Arachnis wouldn't let them shed now that the dripping of rainwater had nearly ceased. Realizing that xeir instinct had placed xeir paws in view, xey quickly tucked them back behind xeir back, tail curling around xeir legs as if to shield xem. Blood had dripped finally amongst the rainwater. 

"I'll just - just go, get something to ah... Clean them up, a-and the floor right after, I promise. Please- please don't be mad, I'm sorry, I truly am... I'm sorry..."

TW: Prior abuse and trauma/PTSD/trauma reaction/anxiety attack

The lashing tail made xem shrink in a bit further on xemself. Xey'd done it now - Quarrel was angry. And Arachnis couldn't even defend xemself. Xey'd failed. Tremendously. Not only had the spells failed, but xey'd injured xemself, and of course they were angry they had every reason to be angry it was reasonable truly -

The harshness of the level words was worse than any yelling could have been. It sliced deeper than the quartz shards. 

When the shadow fell, though...

Crystal blue eyes focused on Quarrel's approach, irises pinpoint in xeir terror. It had been too good to be here. Xey'd royally failed to be useful after all with xeir pitiful magic and disgusting blood and a sob broke from xeir throat as xey hunched in, kneeling in the rain water. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'll clean up, I'm sorry, so sorry, please let me clean up, just a moment, I know I failed, I know, I'll try harder, I promise-"

The words ran together in a muttered mess as xey held back. Xey'd stopped moving, but shutting up had been harder to do. One arm came up to shield xeir head as xey trembled before their half sibling... It was better to be safe than sorry, especially when xey'd never faced Quarrel's anger before. 

"Morothi shadow me," The whisper came under xeir shaky breath.

TW: Prior abuse and trauma/PTSD/trauma reaction/anxiety attack aftermath

As the shadow receded, xeir tearing eyes chanced a glance up. They were backing off. They hadn't tried anything. They were -

Had Quarrel never meant harm, or had the priest overheard xeir fervent prayer and refused to risk angering the god? Xey weren't even sure which was better or worse. The fact of the matter was that there was no harm coming to xem. And more than likely never had been. Arachnis blinked tears from xeir eyes as xey watched the feline for a moment more.

Reality hit a moment later. It was - it was honestly silly that xey'd responded this way but they had sounded so mad! The space gave room to think again and xey winced as xey moved to rub away tears forgetting xeir hands. "S-Sorry, I overreacted, aha... I'm sorry. Really sorry. I'll just - clean up this mess, like I said... Sorry. Sorry, I'm a mess, aren't I? F-Forget this happened, please, it was - it was silly of me..."

Xeir ears lifted slowly as xey moved to xeir feet, looking as Quarrel began to speak. Oh -

"Ah - well, no, I um..." Xey moved to tap xeir paws in nervous habit, looking away. "I'm - I don't... Well I... I... I'll find you in a moment... I need to, um, treat my hands..."

Arachnis didn't wait for a response. Xey needed space, and xey needed the moment to get xemselves under control again. The half-cat fled on quiet paws, ducking into xeir room with a deep breath. 

"... Apologies, Morothi, for invoking you when not needed..."

It took a few minutes for the exhausted and drained critter to clean and wrap xeir paws. By then, the shaking had dulled to very gentle trembling. Xeir breathing was steadier. Now xey had to go apologize more properly... Embarrassment heated xeir ears. How foolish! No one here had tried to harm xem and yet here xey were, cowering at the first sign of danger that wasn't even real! Foolish was xeir mind!

Yet it could have ended as it always had. Xey could not find fault in instincts that had kept xem alive.

Xeir steps were quiet as xey moved to the shrine. Before xeir days here, xey'd never thought much of such gods. Why would they have listened to a little thing like xem? But as xey embraced life at the temple so too had xey embraced the dragons - and found a listening ear more than once. Il-Tira had blessed xem with magic. Cerridwen had blessed xem with forage. And Velyra... 

Well, Quarrel had been that blessing, along with Morothi's to have survived long enough to meet them again.

Tail dragging on the ground lightly xey made sure xey were heard approaching. Some distance was still kept - Quarrel had never enjoyed being close - but it wasn't as fearful as before. Xeir fluffing fur was no longer bristled up as it once again revealed xeir sleek, marten-like form. Bandaged hands were held together before xem before xey finally spoke up.

"... It is... habit, to cower at anger. To fear it. I do not fear you, Quarrel, but I fear actions." Arachnis' paws shuffled. "A-And that... that fear kept me alive. That cowering never saved me, but it kept things from being worse. I am sorry. I... I am learning to not be... so afraid, but I have never known that naturally... I do not ask forgiveness for my overreaction... I know I am a useless coward."

TW: Prior abuse and trauma/PTSD

Arachnis let silence lapse for a moment, but did chance a glance. Quarrel appeared taut as a bow string… The subtle motions reminded zen of bridled frustration. Ah… No, of course xey’d overstepped. Xeir head hung lightly, gaze focused on the temple floor.

The response, though, made xem look up in confusion. 

“O-oh! No! I would never expect that of you, truly. I may not know my way around a fight but I do know how to avoid them…” Xey shook xeir head with a nervous smile. “My own foolishness. I wanted to help - you came all the way to the library for me in the storm, yet…”

Xey looked to the bandage paws with a deep sigh. “I failed you miserably, a-and injured myself as well. I’m merely a fool… ha… I even stayed and charged Lady Vitta’s lamps and such after… S-so truly, foolishness of my own making. I deserved to be humbled.” The check of the air didn’t go unnoticed. Xey had already figured there were skeletons in the feline’s closets. The action was unremarkable. Xey looked away again, eyes landing on the shrine.

“You didn’t, hence, overreacting… By Morothi’s grace I hide my fears well enough these days. But… yes. I fear actions made in perceived anger. I failed you, therefore, I th-thought you were mad at me. It… wouldn’t have been the first time I’ve met that outcome. I tend to be a very useless critter.”

Xey moved to lightly tap xeir paws together - frowning at the pain that should have been a mere pressure. Easy to forget… The prompting, however, made xeir ears prick.

Xey preferred the bandages as they were, even if it would lead to more aching later. But Arachnis also saw this for what it was - a peace offering. More importantly it would show trust to accept. So despite misgivings, xey held out xeir paws with a nervous smile. “Appreciated… I tend to do that… My paw pads are a bit, well, sensitive.”

Would xey admit xey were more likely to fuss with the bandages looser despite the lack of ache later? 

Absolutely not.

Arachnis didn't realize a breath had been held until Quarrel responded. A relieved sigh escaped xem then, and a tiny smile found its way to xeir face as xey kept xeir gaze down.

"... Some scars never do..." The repeating was soft as one paw caressed the opposite bandaged paw pad.  The fur on the back of xeir neck rose slowly before falling back into place. "... I had wondered if white magic could heal scars, to be honest. It... It doesn't. So... I already knew that much." It was painful to admit that xey had actually tried to remove xeir own scars. But xey had, and xey would admit it.

Holding out xeir paws made xem tremble slightly. Lacking an item to hand over was one thing - but this motion was another. Arachnis steeled xeir nerves, though, and kept xemselves as steady as possible.

The wounds themselves were fairly minor. They'd begun to scab over, though scarlet still stained the bandages here and there. Xey knew it was possible to simply heal xemselves, but exhaustion dragged at xem. And the sensation of another critter being so gentle with xeir paws as more soothing than xey cared to admit.

Once xey had xeir paws rewrapped, xey flexed xeir paws lightly before smiling at them. "Thank you, Quarrel. That feels better. S-Sorry, to give you more trouble... I didn't mean to stress you further. Not... not at all."

Keeping a subtle eye for body language seemed useless. Quarrel appeared good at hiding their emotions - especially with the helm covering their face. Their tail was the only clue, one xey could read better due to xeir own feline heritage.

The muttered words made xem flinch lightly, ears flattening slightly, before xey realized there was no ill will meant by it. Xey took a moment to consider that. Quarrel had said that a few times now and neither had been meant maliciously. Xey relaxed somewhat at the realization. This was Quarrel. There should be no danger. 

The following words made Arachnis stifle a giggle, bandaged paw moving to xeir mouth to cover it.

"Noted," xey smiled as xey lowered xeir paw, "I should have realized." Arachnis was taking the moment in stride. There was a difference now that xey were learning more of xeir sibling's mannerisms. That was all it seemed to take to relax xem enough to joke more comfortably.

Looking up and around at the many tapestries, xey pondered xeir next words. It felt strange to admit to a priest. "Truly, before arriving and living here, I did not think much of the gods. Now, I see them in everything. It's partially thanks to you and your hard work. I don't know if anyone tells you this enough... But I appreciate you. Thank you. You work so hard for everyone, I'm learning, and you deserve a little appreciation and gratitude."

Xeir blue eyes were warm and bright as xey stifled amusement from the recovery. For a moment, Quarrel seemed to look at xem differently, but xey couldn't tell what was going on behind their gaze. One day xey hoped that xey would know more about each tiny action.

Th affirmations, however, had a more obvious reaction.

The cough made xem smile sadly. The rapid blinking showed more than they likely wished it to - the action telling of holding back tears. Instinct had xem wanting to lean into them, but xey respected the boundaries Quarrel tended to set unspoken. Xey held out xeir arms in a more subtle offer of a comforting hug. "I figured not... You take care of everyone for little in return - much less gratitude. So. Thank you, Quarrel. Truly. And - you don't need to hide your emotions from me, you should know."

Arachnis snorted slightly, looking at the shrines. "The gods know I have shed more than a little water in my life. It would be silly for you not to be allowed to as well."

The hug was - surprisingly - accepted! A tiny, churring purr escaped xem as xey held onto Quarrel. The pressure of xeir sibling's paws on xeir back gave xem goosebumps but the rest of the action was far too comforting. It was also a good way to soothe xeir earlier nerves about how they had interacted with the stranger rabbit... Not that xey'd ever admit to that jealousy.

When the two split apart Arachnis was positively beaming.